OK – Let’s talk marriage. Last week I wrote a blog post ‘Does having divorced parents affect you?’ as I come from a family of divorced parents. I also did a poll on Twitter and a poll on Instagram. I asked: ‘people who have divorced parents…do you think it affects you? 74% said yes it does affect you.
When I asked on Instagram I received a different response. Out of the 25 people that answered, 25% said it does affect you and a massive 75% said it doesn’t affect you. So, I think it’s safe to say it does depend entirely on the circumstances, age of the children and possibly parenting too. I think these all play a factor into whether divorce affects the children. My brother and sister feel differently to the way I do about my parents splitting up. This brings me on to today’s post. Is marriage still a ‘thing’?
THE YOUNGER GENERATION
Although lately my Facebook news feed has been casually filling up with wedding photos and engagement posts – it’s also had just as many, if not more, baby posts. The posts about babies are coming from all kinds of parents, but, I would say mostly from people who aren’t married. Which is why I’m asking: Is marriage still a ‘thing’? I got some pretty controversial answers so stay tuned for the rest of the article! Nowadays, it’s acceptable to have children with a long term, or short term partner. You don’t need to get married. Although my grandparents would probably disagree. We, ‘the younger generation’ have been brought up in a society of broken marriages, so it begs the question – is it really necessary to get married just to prove your love to everyone else? Or are there other reasons why we should get married? Unless you’re religious or you have really strong reasons to get married, why do we need it?
I’m torn on this. Although I ask: ‘is it really necessary to get married?’. I’m still torn on what to think. I come from a family which is half religious, half atheist. My Dad’s side is religious and believes marriage should come before children. But, I think in this day and age they also understand that it’s not always the case. When you see the sheer volume of couples getting divorced, it does, unfortunately, put you off the idea of getting married. Slater Gordon lawyers recently did a survey on #TheModernMarriage and out of all those surveyed 54% have experienced a close family member getting divorced. Those 54% may have a different view on marriage now if they’ve seen a messy divorce take place.
“MARRIAGE IS A LOAD OF RUBBISH, ORIGINALLY DESIGNED TO OPPRESS WOMEN”
I wanted to delve deeper so I asked those around me for their opinion on divorce. To give you a bit of background. Me, my sister, my brother come from divorced parents. All of my cousins have happily married parents to this day. So let’s see how our opinions differ…
My boyfriend’s family don’t really do marriage. Most of his family members aren’t married so I wasn’t surprised when he gave his view. He’s grown up with people who have believed it’s not a necessity. “It’s a total waste of money and it’s based on an out dated culture which doesn’t fit into today’s society. I feel that you don’t need marriage to declare your love for someone and the fact that you can get married and divorced so easily these days, it makes the whole process pointless. I think today’s equivalent of marriage is a Facebook relationship status and that does the job perfectly – it allows you to declare your love for your partner and share it amongst your friends and family. Yet, it’s totally free.”
My cousin, who’s parents are happily married and have been for over 25 years, has a very traditional way of looking at marriage. She says the idea of being with the same person and growing in life together, is what excites her. She would very much like the traditional marriage cliche, a couple of years together, a pet and then a family.
On the other hand my sister thinks although marriage is great, it doesn’t have to be the be all and end all to every relationship. She believes you can be just as happy with one another and not get married. She says some people put too much pressure on relationships. “Fair enough if people want to celebrate their love and have a huge party but a lot of people want these huge weddings which are costly and can lead to financial pressures. The idea of signing a marital contract is all a bit clinical in my eyes”. She also added, that she’s known people to get married and invite people they don’t even like just to fill up the seats in the venue. That is absolutely bizarre to me. Why would you want people you don’t even like at your wedding?
Is marriage still a thing? Controversial opinions on marriage…
Finally, I’ve got the most controversial answer from my brother. The one you may have been searching for if you clicked on this article because of the title. My brother thinks marriage is a load of rubbish and originally designed to oppress women and line the church’s pockets. On the other hand he says his opinion wouldn’t override someone else’s enjoyment of it – if they felt so strongly about it. His partner feels strongly towards marriage so because marriage would make her happy, he would look at alternatives. He likes the idea of a civil ceremony and to maybe get married abroad. He went on to say that the expenditure that goes with marriage is ridiculous. He thinks instead of spending 5k on a wedding day you could take £500, go and get married abroad and invest the rest in your future.
My cousins girlfriend thinks marriage is a lovely way to solidify your love to one another. She sees both sides, for and against marriage. She says she’d get married because it officially welcomes one family to another, which I thought was a lovely way of putting it.
69% of people believe there is less pressure now to get married compared to 10 years ago.
What do you think about marriage? I’d love to hear your opinions on it in the comments!
***This post was in collaboration with Slater Gordon lawyers. Whilst this was a collaborative post, all words are my own. Statistics come from the Slater Gordon lawyers.***
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