Guys, I think I’m on the verge of a quarter life crisis. Is this normal? If you’re in your twenties have you experienced a quarter life crisis? I feel like this post may contain a little bit of rambling so grab a cuppa and come on the journey of feeling puzzled and discovering passions of mine. Who knows, you might learn a thing or two about yourself.
LET’S TALK ABOUT 2017
Okay, so quarter life might be a little bit over the top. I’m being a little bit of a drama queen when I say that…but genuinely, I’m at that point in my life where I’m reflecting on EVERYTHING I do. Picture this, It’s the 9th August 2017. I’m sat in hospital, just woken up from a diagnostic laparoscopy. After years of being in pain with my periods and ovulation. My head feels fuzzy, I feel…I feel high. I’m confused and my body aches. The nurse trots over to me as soon as she notices I’m awakening from the anaesthetic. She hands me a little cup of water. “Drink this Imogen, it’s ok I’ll go and fetch the DR in a minute. How are you feeling? What’s the pain level out of 10?” I mumble: “about a 7”. She heads off immediately to find me some pain killers. Whilst she’s gone I stare in disbelief at my IV cannula. Every movement is slow. I feel like a sloth. I have this wave of pain hit my body, not physical pain, an intense emotional pain. I blurted out: “Have I got endometriosis then?”. The nurse looks at the sadness in my eyes and replied: “yes”. I balled my eyes out. I knew I wanted answers but it was like the whole 7/8 years had just come crashing down on me. It was not official until the words came out of that nurses mouth. People had to believe it now the DR’s had confirmed. I’d experienced a lot of family members not believing anything was wrong with me. This was a big deal. I finally felt like the last 7 years+ weren’t a lie. 2017 has been a big year for me. Health wise, it’s taught me you should never take it for granted. You should cherish your health more than anything else in the world.
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HOUSES, MARRIAGE, BABIES!?? Feeling lost at age 25.
For me, the last year or so have made me incredibly reflective. I look back on my life and think, have I achieved everything I’ve wanted to achieve? Don’t get me wrong I’m not the kind of person to be like “I need to be married by 28, house by 30, kids by 35”, I’m just not that kind of girl. Although I’m broody, I don’t like putting unnecessary pressure on life achievements. Unnecessary pressure = unnecessary stress. However, I do look at my age and think man, I should have travelled way more than I have already. I have big travel plans, me and the other half have different Countries in mind we want to travel to and I’m hoping 2018 is the year we can start exploring more. Do you not find it difficult balancing priorities? I’m torn between blowing savings on a trip to Bali and being sensible and actually finding our feet financially. The latter is obviously more important. But sometimes it’s easy to think, SCREW IT – don’t you think?
The problem with me and my other half is, we’re commitment phobes. We find planning and setting dates for things extremely hard. Spontaneity is more our kind of thing. We like to book a trip two days before we fly. Which isn’t always the best way when you’re travelling on a budget.
Sometimes I do feel pressure, I’m 25 and have just been diagnosed with Endometriosis which I’m still not sure how it will effect my fertility. I think as you get older in your twenties you have to start thinking about the ‘C’ word….Children aren’t cheap. Already I can feel your mind racing as you’re reading this, I can feel you saying ‘woahhh Imogen steady on, this is like word vomit’. That’s how I feel writing this. I feel like this is me writing to a friend. After all you are my friends aren’t you? My internet friends.
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Read more | My endometriosis story
FEELING LOST AT AGE 25
I mean, from an outsiders perspective you may be thinking: “she has her life together, she’s working freelance from home doing what she loves, what on earth could she feel lost about?”. I’m SO grateful for being able to work from home, being a freelancer is HARD, but, amazing all the same. I don’t have a boss breathing down my neck with deadlines and the anxiety of having to go into an office on Monday morning. However, freelancing is hard. I haven’t even gotten started yet. I have the ambition to do what makes me happy. Blogging is what makes me happy but it still isn’t my main source of income. I still have to follow other avenues to make money. One day, I’d love blogging and YouTube to be my full time job. I love creating content. I love bringing ideas to life, being my own artistic director, whether that’s photoshoots, editing or filming. I love it all. Unfortunately, just like you – girl gotta pay her bills. I use a number of ways to pay my bills. Matched betting is one form, freelance video creating is another and blogging is my final form of income. I’ve come to the point where I feel like sometimes blogging can be a mirror image of what’s my head: scrabbled tofu. Over the past three years I’ve written about anything that’s come to mind; mental health, fashion, lifestyle, personal issues, my chronic illness, beauty and travel. I don’t have a niche. Should I have a niche? So many people tell me I need to have a niche. I love to write about what inspires me. Whatever comes to my head, I write it down. The past 6 months I’ve really stepped it up in consistency over on my blog and over on my YouTube channel but the topics have been so varied, maybe it is hard for people to remember me because I’m not a one trick pony. Maybe I should be a one trick pony!? After all, it would give me a focus within this over saturated industry. I would say if I had to choose one type of post, it would have to be fashion content with lifestyle writing. I love writing about issues other people can relate to.
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TO SUM UP…
I think it’s easy to look around and compare yourself to others. We all need to remember we’re on our own life path. Big life changes will happen at different times for us. When I’m feeling lost (which is becoming a regular theme in my life) I try and bring myself back down. I almost try and ground myself. Feel gracious for the achievements you’ve experienced. Feel gracious for the people around you, even if theirs only a handful. Feel gracious that you’ve worked hard, partied harder and overcome those hurdles this year. Let mistakes be turned into life lessons and let’s remember that it’s OKAY to feel lost at any age. It keeps us driven, it keeps us wanting more and it shows us we never settle for anything less than a fulfilled and successful life.
Want to read something more light hearted? My 2017 travel overview
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